Shut the Hell Up...I'm Trying to Eat My Quarter Pounder

Occasionally, when my work becomes so stressful that I can no longer focus, I check on the Internet to see what's happening in the world. Yahoo conveniently categorizes your news for you, so I usually check the major headlines, Oddly Enough (my favorite) and the Weight Loss/Health section (being that losing weight is one of my current projects.) Well, as you may or may not know, you can post messages commenting on the articles. Or at least that is the IDEA. At least on the weight-loss articles, people seem to use these message boards as a place to call everyone the names they didn't manage to think up in grade school. Further, said name calling has not one fucking thing to do with the text of the article.

Their idea of my day appears to be:

1. Wake up. Eat 17 breakfast burritos, a mocha latte, and maybe some fried lard on the side.

2. Watch TV till morning snack time, wherein I consume an entire 3-pound box of Godiva truffles.

3. Watch TV till lunch, when I eat 3 QP's with cheese, a super-size fry, some Ben & Jerry's, a large chicken fried steak with gravy, and a big pile of fried mozzarella.

4. Watch TV till afternoon snack, which consists of one bag each Double Stuf Oreos, Nacho Cheesier! Doritos, and Hostess Cupcakes.

5. Watch TV till dinner: 20-ounce steak, 7 baked potatoes with everything, a bottle of ranch dressing, assorted fried vegetables, and an entire chocolate cheesecake.

6. Watch TV till evening snack, which is some heavily buttered popcorn, a two-pound bag of peanut M&M's, and a large strawberry milkshake.

7. Bed.

Before you immediately write me off as just some fat bitch whining about people being mean to me, let me say something. I don't like people to be shitty, but at the same time, if their comments have something to do with the article upon which they are allegedly "commenting", I'll live. However, when the articles are about gastric bypass or obesity being a problem among more poor people than wealthy people, I fail to see how making comments like "lose weight—you're giving me eye cancer" or "all fat people do is eat Big Macs and watch TV" are germane to the topic. What I find the most strange about all of this is the people who are posting. You would think that those most interested in health and weight-loss issues would be those who are trying to lose weight. Further, you would think that people who take the time to comment would be sensitive to these issues. Instead, the people posting appear to be consulting this section are those who want all fat people's jaws to be sewn shut while they are walking on a treadmill, because that's the only solution that will work in their world.

I really wonder, though, in a country where 2/3 of people are overweight to some degree, why there is still such a stigma attached to being fat. Sure, it can contribute to health problems…but so can pretty much anything, if you believe everything you read. Guess maybe because it's not okay to (openly) hate people for being a different race, or religion, or sexual orientation…so all of the world's hatemongers need a target…and I guess they think fat people are a big one. (Yes, that was a joke.)

I'm not saying these juvenile, misguided souls don't have the right to their opinion. I just wonder how many of them are (a) fat (b) getting there or (c) dating/living with/raising someone fat. All I'm saying is that the place for simple insults is not a message board for news commentary. Start a frickin' diary. Start your own message board. I don't give a shit. But if you're going to post comments about the news, please read the article first and make sure you understand it.

But then, maybe they are malnourished and their brains don't work....which provides even more reason for them to remove their hands from the keyboard, pick up the supersize fries, and insert them one by one into their mouths.