...But What About the Lawn?

Men….Can't Live With Them, Can't (Legally) Beat the Crap out of Them

I really, really wish that I weren't having to write these kinds of male-bashing entries. However, despite my attempts to distract myself with shopping, surfing the internet, and (gasp, choke) actually working, I'm still pissed off.

So, GID had not responded to my e-mail prior to our dinner plans on Thursday. I am not one to make scenes in public, and he knows this. Therefore, we do not discuss the e-mail…in fact, he doesn't even acknowledge that he has received it. However, his behavior (i.e., actually speaking to me, etc.) clues me in that he has, in fact, read it.

This morning, I come to work to find a shitty, defensive e-mail….something along the lines of "Don't you dare belittle and demean me" and "Your e-mail is full of distortions of the truth" and "I am not trying to control you". Ummm…did you read the same e-mail I sent? Because it was all true….and there was no belittling involved. All I asked was if he was still working toward some of his life goals. Guess that's demeaning, because evidently he's not. Oh, and of course, he has to bring up that I talked at one point about going to law school, but I'm not in law school, so that must mean I'm not doing anything with my life either. Hello, moron. What I actually said was that, when my current job ends (it's a special project which won't last more than a few years, but the money was good and it beat the hell out of FHH), I am pondering the law school thing. Plus, if he thinks nagging me about going to law school will upset me, give me a fucking break. My friends have been doing that for years. I've developed an immunity. Say the words "law school" and my brain immediately goes on a cruise to the U.S. Virgin Islands.

But I digress. Point is, he missed the point. So of course, I sent him another e-mail explaining in greater detail what I meant, which should have been obvious to anyone literate….men blow the goat ass.

If there are any guys who can explain to me why men cannot (a) discuss anything of substance or (b) read (or hear) and understand a simple declarative sentence, I'd love to hear the explanations for this. Seriously.

I will close with one of my favorite "I hate men" jokes….

Q. Why do women need men?

A. Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.