Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor...

BFRB and I were conversing yesterday evening about the usual topics: men and why they suck, work and why it sucks, being bored and why it sucks…and then we started musing about WHY we were bored. Well, it's because we're broke, and we can't afford to do any of our usual weekend field trips to various retail locations because we suck at window-shopping.

Seriously. Six months ago, we had money. We went shopping a LOT. We'd hit the clearance sales at Dillard's, cruise by Ross and Old Navy, and wind up at our favorite, Shoe Gallery. Then, we would go have dinner somewhere that didn't have a drive-thru. Now, the only places we go are Wal-Mart, PetsMart, and Laundry-Mart. (Okay, it's really called Swiss Cleaners and Laundry, but I was trying to maintain the symmetry.) Our bills are the same, our paychecks haven't mysteriously shrunk, so where has the money disappeared to??? Did our Christmas gifts/tax refunds just finally run out, or what?

It's not just us, either. Everyone I work with is bemoaning their lack of funds. The rest of my friends (GEB, BFRB2, TM) are all riding the broke bus. None of us can really pinpoint exactly WHY, either. All I can figure out is that in my last life, (assuming I believe that I had one, which let's say I do today) I must have been really rich and a complete fuckstick. That must mean that all of my friends were, too. But really, universe, I have the point now!! I promise that, if I were to suddenly be possessed of great riches a la Bill Gates, I would know how to use them in a benevolent and kind fashion but still maintain myself in the pinnacle of luxury. I don't even mind WORKING for the riches. Just send me an idea, okay? Something which will make my metaphorical ears perk up.

So, if anyone has any ideas for money-making ventures that do not involve selling access to my orifices, donating bodily fluids, or risking death, please let me know so I can steal…ahem….utilize them in a manner which will benefit all humanity, particularly me.

And if you live in Oklahoma, be sure to vote for the lottery in November. We all need a get-rich-immediately fantasy which does not involve driving to Texas.