1. Come in to the office.
2. Answer call from BFRB, venting about her office drama of the morning.
3. Go get coffee.
4. Answer e-mail from boss.
5. Catch up with office mate.
6. Go smoke.
7. Go get breakfast.
8. Go get flu shot. This involves standing in line for TWO HOURS.
9. Answer e-mail.
10. Go get lunch.
11. Go smoke.
12. Engage in conversation with fellow employee regarding the boss's day brouhaha.
13. Answer e-mails from GID and BFRB.
14. Read e-mail from another co-worker regarding the book she has written.*
15. Do some actual work for 15 minutes.
16. Answer further e-mails from BFRB, GID, and my former office mate (hereinafter FOM.)
17. Have conversation with another co-worker regarding technical difficulties on the computer and our favorite episodes of South Park.
18. Do 5 more minutes of work.
19. Answer e-mail from my dad.
20. Shut down computer.
21. Go get car.
22. Go to gym and bust some ass on the elliptical trainer and the bike (what?? something useful??)
23. Go home and bathe.
24. Meet GID for dinner.
25. Pick up birth control prescription (and something else that actually needed to be done???).
26. Hang out with BFRB to get the latest update on the Guy She's Dating (GSD) and the drama at her office.
27. Read idiot-milk's diary for a while.
28. Cuddle with my kitties.
29. Sleep.
* Up until this point, I actually had some respect for this co-worker. She has some serious balls. When we had a meeting about our supervisor's concerns that we found her "unavailable," this chick said what everyone was thinking: "This doesn't mean we're going to be micromanaged, does it?" And last week, several of us were hanging out in FOM's office, drinking coffee and avoiding work. She came in to pick up the things she ordered from FOM's kids' fundraisers. She and another black co-worker had both bought African-American themed items. They said that it wasn't because they particularly liked this stuff, but since they didn't used to have any of it available, they felt the need to support their people so that multicultural Christmas decorations, toys, etc., would continue to be available. So anyway, this is the e-mail we got yesterday:
"Hello...
Just wanted to invite you to review and/or purchase a book that I wrote and published entitled, The Guardian . . . I've placed copies on each floor's break room for your convenience. The book is a gripping true story about how I faced death but live to tell the story. The whole purpose of the book is to encourage others to NEVER give up!
You will laugh AND cry AND experience every emotion in between. You can read this entire book in one sitting (45 minutes). I really think you'll enjoy this quick read.
I have left an envelope to put your $6.50 check in. You can contact me here or find out more at the below website. I'm having surgery next week and will use the proceeds from this book to supplement my income since I haven't been here long enough to get disability insurance."
There was also a link to her website. Jesus wants you to buy some shit, yo.
Remember, this e-mail went to the WHOLE OFFICE. There are a lot of people that those on our little stepchild floor never see. I still admire her balls, but this is some seriously crazy stuff, right up there with seeing the image of Jesus in the couch on someone's front porch in Anal Wart, Arkansas.
Okay, time to make a stab at (gasp, choke) working. Happy Friday!!
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