Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Weekends and Wal-Mart and Schnitzel and Noodles

So, about my weekend, which I've been intending to write about for three days….

I went and hung out with BFRB2, and we did some lunch/shopping type activities, then went to JS's house for dinner (she cooked. It was yummy. I've been full ever since.) However, that was the first time BFRB2 and I have gotten to hang out together in a month. We made plans twice….the first time, she forgot that she had promised to help someone move, and the second time, I had the yucky cold.

I used to live very close (like less than a mile) from BFRB2, and nowhere near BFRB. Now, the situation is reversed….and I spend way more time with BFRB than with BFRB2. It sucks. I hate that friendship is such a function of proximity. Don't get me wrong….I love hanging with BFRB. And I talk on the phone to BFRB2 frequently. It just irritates me that hanging out with one of my best friends has to be such a fucking project. I really like spending time with JS, too….she's a new friend, but a good one…however, we communicate mostly via e-mail. Of course, now I'm wondering in my screwed-up, warped, twisted head…do people really come into our lives for a reason? That is, would we meet our best friends no matter what happened, or is it all a function of convenience? Or coincidence?

Okay, Loopy, back away from the coffee pot slowly and no one will get hurt….

On a completely unrelated note, let me once again state for the record that Wal-Mart blows the goat ass. Their selection blows, their employees blow, the businesses that rent space from them blow, and their customers blow. Why, you ask? Last night, I went to Wal-Mart after I went to the gym. I needed to get my nails done, and pick up the following food items: (1) coffee creamer – Coffee Mate Fat Free Cinnamon Vanilla (2) NutriGrain Chewy Granola bites in Caramel Nut Crunch (3) Orville Reddenbacher's Movie Theater Butter microwave popcorn. They had #3. So now I'm stuck with plain vanilla creamer and no chewy granola bites….and the nail place arbitrarily closed an hour early, so I didn't get that errand done either. Which means I have to go back to the evil empire TONIGHT.

To add to the general frustration, the cashier at Wal-Mart had some serious issues. Story time, boys and girls. The last time BFRB and I went to Wal-Mart, we decided to purchase cigarettes, because they had them on sale for like $2 a pack. The sale was on individual packs only, not cartons. Wal-Mart also only allows you to purchase cigs at ONE register, which is an express lane. This means that you have to stand in line twice. The cashier in the sin lane is an older African-American gentleman who clearly does not realize that Jeri-Curl has not been socially acceptable since the 1970's. So anyway, BFRB and I smoke the same kind of cigs. She gets the last 10 loose packs. When it's my turn, all the moron has to do is open the carton, dump the smokes out, and ring the fucking things up. This happens….after he consults with management and the two of them clearly cannot figure this concept out. 20 minutes later, after all my frozen food has thawed, I finally get my fucking cigarettes.

Forward to last night. Now Mr. Jeri-Curl is working a regular register, since he clearly does not have the speediness required for an express lane. There is one person in front of me, and he has almost no items. Of course, one of the 4 items he has rings up incorrectly. So once again, our fearless cashier must consult management about the price per pound of Granny Smith apples, which takes about 15 minutes by my watch. Then, the idiot cashier starts ringing up my items on the other guy's order. He tries to void them, succeeds, then drags them BACK across the scanner FOUR MORE TIMES, thus necessitating more voiding. Finally, the customer manages to figure out how to work his debit card (how do people not understand this???) and it's my turn at last.

Never go to Wal-Mart hungry. I bought $70 worth of shit and I'm not sure I have any actual food. I'm going to be living on popcorn, sun chips and fat-free dip, fat-free Jello pudding, and coffee for the next two weeks.

I'm sure I'll have more to say about Wal-Mart sucking tomorrow, since I have to go back and get my nails done tonight. Assuming they decide to remain open, that is.

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