Lunch Hour Smackdown

My office mate and I decided that we could not stand the office for another second. Therefore, we took a little field trip to Ross Dress for Less. Not like I have money. But I stare at my closet every morning with this perplexed look on my face, like I somehow expect that things have appeared in the night. They usually don't. I keep hoping, though…

We came, we saw, we shopped. Evidently the rest of the planet decided they needed retail therapy on this gray and rainy Tuesday too, because the lines at the checkout were very long. Our cashier had this hair that looked like her cat had been grooming it for her, and a bad 80's vest. At least she appeared ironed. Including her hair.

The Ross employees finally get a clue, and they open another lane. The new cashier very clearly states that the next person in line without a return can come over to her lane. I was clearly next, followed by my office mate. Guess we didn't move fast enough, because this bitch behind us starts making a beeline and saying she has to be back at the office. Don't we all, you fucking ho? However, she wasn't fast enough either. This other chick with a bad dye job and some seriously huge glasses (they went nicely with the huge print on her outfit) shoves in front of HER and says something along the lines of "I really can't wait any longer." This woman then proceeds to argue with the cashier about whether her nasty new clothes cost $12.99 or $11.99. Office-mate and I BOTH checked out, and this bitch was still arguing. Yep, you're in a hurry.

Speaking of Tuesdays and why they are lame….

We get this e-mail from our office administrator about an hour ago. There are a lot of people in our office. So, they have decided to make an internal directory. That, in and of itself, is fine. What is NOT fine is that they give us 20 minutes notice on the photo. Everyone on my floor is decidedly unhappy about this. We need to know this crap so we will be sure to (a) fix our hair (b) wear makeup and (c) wear a presentable outfit. Maybe it's really a spot-check to see who is violating our dress code. Of course "no jeans except on Fridays" pretty much seems to sum up the fashion rules at our office….but still. I think this photo will be worse than my driver's license. And no, I'm not posting that picture either. I look like one of those madwomen they used to lock in the attic, or an escaped retard.

I should work, or something. I think "something" is going to win this afternoon.