Just Three Things…and a Three Paragraph Rant.

THREE THINGS THAT HAVE PISSED ME OFF TODAY
(1) Overdraft fees
(2) Headache
(3) My boss moving a staff meeting and fucking up my lunch plans

THREE REASONS FOR OVERDRAFT FEES
(1) SW Bell
(2) Oklahoma Guaranteed Student Loan Program
(3) My fucking health insurance company which would prefer an unplanned pregnancy to paying for birth control

THREE E-MAILS THAT HAVE ANNOYED ME
(1) Drag your mouse to find Jesus
(2) Person unable to figure out how to click on and follow a hyperlink
(3) E-mail informing me that staff meeting was at 1 p.m. and not 10 a.m.

THREE THINGS IN MY HEAD
(1) I really don't want to call my mom and borrow money
(2) I don't know that I have a choice
(3) Life sucks big purple donkey dicks from the sky

THREE SONGS THAT I WISH I HAD NEVER HEARD
(1) Hoobastank – "The Reason"
(2) Anything by Dashboard Confessional. And don't even try to tell me they are good. Yeah, the music world needs more whiny white boys about as much as it needs…
(3) Michelle Branch – "Everywhere"

Thanks to the MySpace bulletin I received last night from redstarhelix for the idea for the above lists.

If you guys are not getting the picture here, let me state for the record that today sucks. Actually, the last three Fridays have pretty much licked the sweat off a dead whale's balls (that's for you, arc-angel666). I have no idea why, but somehow, Prozac doesn't work on Fridays. I was in a perfectly good mood earlier this week. But today, I feel fat, ugly, worthless, and poor. And at least two of those four are pretty accurate.

I have a headache that four Advil have not touched. I need a cigarette. I need someone to not make donuts appear in our office when I'm in this kind of mood. What I really need is to go home. I wonder if anyone would notice if I snuck out. It would probably be the one fucking day that someone needs me at 4:30 for something. That's the kind of day it is.

Please, make it stop. Or make it ok to have a loaded bong as a desk accessory. Think I could pass it off as a pencil holder? Or a bottle of Jack Daniels could pass for cough medicine?

And a PS for BFRB: I tried to put the quiz in, but the link was too long and it made some FUNK-O-RIFIC things happen on the bottom of the page, yo. So if any of the rest of you want to find out what DMB song you are, give Ticktrix a holler. Further, add HTML to the list of shit that makes me nuts today. Forget one quotation mark and see what happens. Go 'head. I also realize that this is more than three paragraphs. I further realize that I don't really give a rat's ass. I will add this to my list of reasons why I am a complete fuckup today.