I Thought MY Weekend Sucked.

Why am I in such a contemplative funk?? This is crazy. However, I think I may have taken some serious steps toward overcoming my stress-eating problem this weekend. BFRB and I have decided to participate in the YMCA total-body challenge. Perhaps I mentioned this last week. Perhaps not. But regardless, I am WAY too unmotivated to go look today. So anyway, being that the weigh-in is tonight, and to win your team has to lose the most weight, we decided that this weekend would be a lovely time to eat tons of junk food and ditch the gym. (Which sounds much like the old me, now that I think about it…) I really didn't think the old me was too far gone, either…but I think she is. I was MISERABLE last night. Like wishing I had a stomach pump miserable.

Today, I must confess to being hungry. However, I really don't want to eat any more fried shit with cheese on it. So I ate my breakfast Lean Pockets and now I'm having a cookies-and-cream carb control bar. No, I am not one of those low-carb-heads. Can't do it, captain. I must have carbs or I become extra cranky and try to cram a whole day's worth into an hour before bed. I bought them because they had a lot of protein and not very many calories. I was HOPING for a satisfying feeling of fullness that would last all afternoon. Nope, doesn't happen, but it does last marginally longer than a Slim-Fast. I think it's the chewing factor. You can try to convince yourself that drinking a nutritious yummy shake is the same as eating, but your stomach has other ideas…as in, that was a nice appetizer, bitch, you planning to really feed me now? The chewing thing is good. However, the taste….not so good. It will help you in your gazillion ounces of water per day quest, though. You'll need it to wash the strange aftertaste out of your mouth.

Onward, pagan soldiers….

GID needs to fucking get control of his hypoglycemia or whatever the hell turns him into an asshole when he doesn't eat. Friday night, he came over after we did laundry. (In a side note, the Laundry Nazi was most pleasant…opened the door, traded me $20 dollar bills when mine wouldn't work in the change machine, etc. Maybe she got some from that freak who spent all evening following her around the last time we did laundry.) Okay. So anyway, I was running around, tried to call him to tell him to come a little later, but of course, this is the one time he shows up early. And pissed off. And hungry. Hopefully he will not be pulling that shit again. If me being pissed didn't do it, him not getting any might have. I've gotten at least two apologetic e-mails, and he was most nice on Sunday when we went to the zoo. Men are so annoying.

Where was I? Oh yes. I was supposed to hang out with BFRB2 on Saturday, but by the time I got done running around to Wal-Mart and all that shit, I was not in the mood to be any fun. She understood, but I still feel really lame. I spent the evening taking a nap, posting a lame update, and playing video games. I'm such a party animal.

Oh, in my entry of random top 10's, I promised to explain when it's ok to tailgate. It's okay when you're on a non-passing type road and the person in front of you has forgotten that they have a gas pedal. This happened on the way home from the laundromat. We got behind some complete moron who kept their speed at a consistent 20 mph. Never saw brake lights. Never saw acceleration. BFRB flashed her brights and tailgated, and the fucker didn't appear to notice. Once we FINALLY got to a part of the road (on which the speed limit is 35, I might add) where we could pass the dickhead, we sense go-to-hell looks and a really ugly hat. The windows were tinted, so we couldn't really determine species and country of origin. What was even funnier is that he was GOING to turn right, but then went straight. I think he was trying to follow us. Going-you guessed it-20 mph. We lost him after the first light.

However lame I thought my weekend was, it pales in comparison to that of my co-worker's. She was helping her mother with a garage sale. In the meantime, while she is out in the cold and wind making signs and injuring her (other) hand (she hammered the first one earlier in the week), her mom gets a call from co-worker's significant other. The S.O. works for a telephone giant as a repair person. They have been obligated to work mucho overtime lately because of the suck-ass weather we've had. The S.O. was trotting out into the yard of her last call of the night, carrying her 28 foot extension ladder, and she stepped in a hole. And fractured her ankle.

So anyway, my co-worker was counting on the S.O. to help with the garage sale shit. Instead, not only is my co-worker having to deal with her mother whining, she has to deal with whining at home, too….not to mention all of the domestic crap (i.e., cooking, cleaning, shopping, bring me stuff, walk the dog, etc.) Further, they just got some new furniture and electronic equipment. S.O. was in the middle of reconfiguring everything when the ankle incident happened. So now, in addition to everything else, there is a satellite receiver with accessories in the middle of their living room. Here's hoping no one trips on it and breaks something….

I'm trying to work today, really I am. Therefore, since I have finished my delicious cookies-and-cream-like substance, I should do the productive thing. Right after I go smoke.